Family Ties Episode Don't Kiss Me, I'm Only The Messenger Transcript

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Alex: I can explain this.

Skippy: Alex, don't bother explaining, I think I can see what's going on here.

Skippy turns around to leave the restaurant and runs into a table.

In Skippy's room:

Skippy is sitting down, talking to his mouse which is in a cage.

Skippy: So I turn around, and there's Alex kissing Jane.  Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.  Pay attention.  Move over here to the glass, march.

Alex knocks on Skippy's door.

Alex: Hi, can I come in?

Skippy talking to mouse: This is Alex, hide your women.

Alex: Skippy, I owe you an apology.

Skippy: You ruined the whole evening.  The date was going so well up until then.  She was really starting to warm up to me.

Alex: Look, you got to understand.  She's been in love with me since the first grade.  She idolizes me.  When I ran for student council president, she voted for me 300 times.

Skippy: So did I.  Sorry you didn't win.

Alex: Look, Skippy, we just got to work this thing out.

Skippy: No, no Alex, I don't want to talk about this.

Skippy starts to jump on a trampoline.

Alex: Skippy, we've been friends for too long for you just to bounce out of my life.

Skippy: You stabbed me in the back Alex!

Alex: I know I did Skippy, and I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Look this is ridiculous, would you stop doing that.

Skippy: I can't stop Alex.

Alex runs and pushes Skippy off the trampoline onto Skippy's bed, where they both land.

Alex: Skippy, look, I'm sorry about everything.  I didn't mean to hurt you.

Skippy: But you did Alex.  I've always trusted you.

Alex: I know you have Skip.

Alex: I'm, I'm going to stand up.

Realizes they are both lying not he bed and gets up from Skippy's bed.

Skippy: Alex, why did you do?  You could have any girl.  Why couldn't you
just say no?

Alex: Come on Skippy, it is not that simple.  It's like there's two Alex's, you know?  There's a good Alex and there's a bad Alex. The good Alex said, leave her alone she's Skippy's girl.

Skippy: What did the bad Alex say?

Alex: Shut up good Alex.  Take her she's yours.

Skippy: Shut up bad Alex.

Alex: Don't worry Skippy, I'm not listening to him anymore.  Look your my friend, and that's what's important.  I just want to be worthy of your friendship.

Alex extends his hand.  Skippy shakes it.

Skippy: You know, it's partly my fault.

Alex: Maybe next time you'll speak for yourself.  You know you don't give yourself enough credit.  You’re a great guy.

Skippy: If I'm such a great guy why aren't there any girls that like me?

Alex: You have to be patient, Skip, somewhere out there is a girl who's going to love you, a very, special, girl.

Skippy: Maybe that's her now.

Mallory knocks at Skippy's door.

Skippy opens the door.

Mallory: Hi, Skip, I just want to see if your alright.

Skippy: Yeah, I guess I am.  You know Mallory, there's two Skippy's.  A good Skippy, and a bad Skippy.  Would you like to go out with either of us on Friday night?

Mallory. No. No.

Skippy: It's great to be back guys.

Skippy puts his arms around both Mallory and Alex.


The End